Employee of the Month

[Angry Former Employee]

Anna Rodriguez was named the first-ever employee of the month at a local marketing agency. Anna receives this honor in most part due to her trend-setting practice of bringing her lunch to work.

“The first time I did it, it was really nerve-racking,” Rodriguez said. “I mean, what if I forgot my apple or there weren’t any napkins at the office? That would have been disastrous.”

But it was not disastrous for Rodriguez. In fact, Rodriguez has brought her own lunch on three separate occasions now.

“Some people still stare,” Rodriguez said. “When I reach into my desk drawer and pull it out, it’s like time slows down.”

Co-worker Corey Smith (no relation) confirms the claim.

“It’s all people were talking about at the water cooler on Friday,” Smith said. “I think I’m gonna ask her out—but probably not.”

Studies show a growing trend in BIYs (bring it yourself) at the workplace. Many analysts attribute the trend to global warming.

A local scientist who wished to remain anonymous says it all makes sense.

“When it’s hotter outside, people don’t want to go to their cars and potentially melt—it’s a very real possibility.”

The scientist’s name is Jack Rudolf.

“Another thing I’ve discovered is that by bringing my lunch to work, I don’t take the normal company lunch break of two-and-a-half hours. That means I’m home before 3!” Rodriguez expounded.

Rodriguez vows to continue her groundbreaking habit for at least another week.

“I figure I’ve got enough sandwich meat for five more days,” Rodriguez said. “It’ll be close, but I can do it.”

One thing is for sure, if there were more people like Rodriguez, the world would be a better place.