Charleton Heston’s Weekly Missive

[Angry Former Employee]

“Guns are good. Everyone knows it. You know who doesn’t like guns? Communists. You know what else is good? Doughnuts. Especially the jelly-filled ones. Everyone likes doughnuts—even Communists.”

-Charleton Heston, April 3, 1968, opening night of “Planet of the Donut Holes: A Dunkin’ Donuts Experience”*

*Charleton Heston was a paid** spokesman for Dunkin’ Donuts.

**Charleton Heston was compensated in doughnuts, which is ironic because doughnut holes are the usual byproduct of doughnut production, but not at “Planet of the Donut Holes: A Dunkin’ Donuts Experience.”